I don't believe this.

I am actually up waiting for my cat to come home.

Really.

It's not as if I haven't been doing this for the last 10 years.... but I thought I was just about through with it....

And now I have to do it for a cat.

I let her out thinking she'd come right back (since it's raining), and now she's nowhere to be found.

*sigh*

So anyway, while I wait, I'll post something.

I've had several doctors appts for my heart lately.

Today I had an ultrasound.

When the tech starting looking at it she said right off (and maybe they do this with everyone for encouragement) "you have a great heart.... looks really strong!"

I have to say, even if she was just saying that to make me feel good, it totally did the trick! The ultrasound took like 45 minutes and the room was dark and quiet... so while she did a lot of looking, I did a lot of thinking. These weren't new thoughts... more like REnewed thoughts. Like, how grateful I am for a strong body. I know I have lupus... and I get sick more often than I'd like, but truthfully, my body is MEGA strong. I asked the tech if she'd give me a black and white picture of my heart... I suddenly wanted to have one that I could take home and hang on the fridge (same way we do when we have the photos of our babies in embryo)... I was really proud of my heart. That it's never let me down. And I vowed today to take better care of it.

And I think I hear my cat at the door. Silly girl.

Well, that's a BIG no show.

I really wanna go to bed.

New normal

Virus's, masks, hand sanitizer, staying home, conspiracy theories, hoarding, facetiming, toilet paper shortage, the worst of incompetency from the very highest level, gaslighting, so much blind and deafness (though, not literally), smokescreens, bold-face lies accepted without explanation.... the list goes on and on. First and foremost though, this is nothing to be made light of. The meme's were a good laugh in the beginning, but they're stale and old now. People are suffering, people are sick, people are dying. Medical workers all over the world are putting their lives at great risk everyday, working to save and protect so many. Grocery and essential store workers, truck drivers and delivery people are making sure store shelves are stocked so we have what we need. It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Until there's a vaccine there isn't much "finality" in sight. People. Oh, the people. In so many ways huma...

Playing an old game.....

..... Ally and I. It happened as we were driving down Ustick Rd. the other day and saw a car with a Hawaii license plate.... then 20 seconds later Connecticut and Pennsylvania. Now, if you've never been on Ustick Rd, you might not understand the significance of that. Ally got Alaska yesterday. Guess I better get out more.

Love languages

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ I've always known the love language my children speak.... since they were little. Rob took me a bit longer. I know my parents languages and lately I've been thinking much more about my siblings, Rob's siblings, and my dearest friends. It's taken years to figure out which one I am..... since it's been kind of a tie between three.... but recently, it finally happened. And although it's one I'm not super pleased about, it is me. It's what makes me feel secure and safe and loved. And just because someone doesn't show me love in this certain way (because obviously we all have our own language), it doesn't mean I'm not going to have a connection with them. It just means that in my deeply closest, most personal and intimately emotional relationships, this area is what does it for my heart.... and it's how my heart gives and shows it to others.

Sweet Potators

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