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'Meant to be'



As a warning, I can tell before I even start this post that it's going to be a rambler.... and it might take me a few days to make much sense of it.  Though I've already been trying to understand these feelings and put them into words for quite some time.

Anyway.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why we bump into each other during this journey on earth.  There's lots of ways you could describe how the relationships we've made or formed have come together.  Some are made by merely a pass in the night... or the afternoon.  Some by complete collision.  Some we just sort of bump into, spin around, bump again and so on.  Some are a tangle.... and we wouldn't know where to even start the unwinding to make sense of it all.  Some are a complete joining of the heart and difficult to comprehend where they begin and where they end, and if they even do.

And are they meant to be... all of them?

Or are some forged or even forced and we work on them until they've become such a unions of hearts and minds that it would be hard to imagine life without them?

And then there are THOSE.... like a lightening bolt.... like magnets that are inexplicably drawn to each other.... that once joined, would be literally, physically painful, to separate.

I have always loved this quote by Charlotte Bronte from the novel Jane Eyre.  It is Rochester speaking to Jane....

"I have a strange feeling with regard to you.  As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you.  And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap.  And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly."

And so I ask this, if some relationships are meant to be, are they sometimes meant to end, also?

Or better yet, just be put on hold for a time?

I guess I've wondered so much about this because it seems like so many people in our lives come and go....

I've thought a lot about Divinity, too.  I can't believe that this earthly existence is all just science.  That there is no purpose to our time here on earth.  Why would we all be bumping into each other and touching one another's hearts if there was not?  Why would we be having relationships that would cause such incredibly indescribable joy that if they were to be lost, or broken would cause us to spiritually "bleed inwardly"?

And so tonight my heart is filled with gratitude... and some sadness.

Gratitude for the people that have touched my life in such deeply, beautiful ways.

Sadness for the people I miss... those that have made their mark on my heart.  I hope they know I loved them... and always will.

I hope that I can always take the good from them.... and that I gave something worthwhile... great or small in return.

Because maybe not everything is meant to last in this world....

But it is the next.  And I don't think we can even comprehend what it'll be like to be with those we "bumped into" in this life.  I think it's going to be amazing... and joyous... and everything wonderful and good.

Oh, this'll definitely have many edits ahead.


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