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I don't believe this.

I am actually up waiting for my cat to come home.

Really.

It's not as if I haven't been doing this for the last 10 years.... but I thought I was just about through with it....

And now I have to do it for a cat.

I let her out thinking she'd come right back (since it's raining), and now she's nowhere to be found.

*sigh*

So anyway, while I wait, I'll post something.

I've had several doctors appts for my heart lately.

Today I had an ultrasound.

When the tech starting looking at it she said right off (and maybe they do this with everyone for encouragement) "you have a great heart.... looks really strong!"

I have to say, even if she was just saying that to make me feel good, it totally did the trick!  The ultrasound took like 45 minutes and the room was dark and quiet... so while she did a lot of looking, I did a lot of thinking.  These weren't new thoughts... more like REnewed thoughts.  Like, how grateful I am for a strong body.  I know I have lupus... and I get sick more often than I'd like, but truthfully, my body is MEGA strong.  I asked the tech if she'd give me a black and white picture of my heart... I suddenly wanted to have one that I could take home and hang on the fridge (same way we do when we have the photos of our babies in embryo)... I was really proud of my heart.  That it's never let me down.  And I vowed today to take better care of it.

And I think I hear my cat at the door.  Silly girl.

Well, that's a BIG no show.

I really wanna go to bed.

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