Sweet Potators

Let's see.... Found out I suck at taking online tests/quizzes..... not because I don't know the answers, but twice now I've missed questions because I'm technologically challenged. Sooo tired of bickering. It's sheer joy when you confide something totally personal and unflattering about yourself to a friend and without thinking she tells two other people. :-||||| Your cat has ruined almost every upholstered chair and sofa and every rug in your house with her "indoor" claws and there are several new spots on your carpet from coughing up hairballs (utterly disgusting!). You've eaten way too many pink lemonade cookies from The Fix and are thinking that making yourself throw up isn't such a bad idea. You wake up with some sort of migraine every morning. You miss your kids..... like whopping BIGtime.... but also know if you were with them somehow they'd frustrate you.... because you're already so frustrated with yourself, others easily ...

"Each of you will have the chance to make your own discovery in the years to come. And I say “chance” because you won’t have to take it. There’s no community service requirement in the real world; no one forcing you to care. You can take your diploma, walk off this stage, and chase only after the big house and the nice suits and all the other things that our money culture says you should buy. You can choose to narrow your concerns and live your life in a way that tries to keep your story separate from America’s. But I hope you don’t. Not because you have an obligation to those who are less fortunate, though you do have that obligation. Not because you have a debt to all those who helped you get here, though you do have that debt. It’s because you have an obligation to yourself.  Because our individual salvation depends on collective salvation.  Because thinking only about yourself, fulfilling your immediate wants and needs, betrays a poverty of ambition. Because it’s only when...

In a society that profits from your self-doubt... Liking yourself is a rebellious act. https://vimeo.com/138170379

Sort of gave myself an ultimatum. No longer was I going to hole-up.... Not because of my health, not because of my body,  not because of any other insecurities that  rob me of moments  truly worth living. And I haven't. And August was one of the best months in  my 49 years of life.   And though sunflowers have always been for me been one of God's greatest  creations, seeing a field of miles and miles of them in northern Michigan  this summer brought me back to the symbol they have always stood for to me  and this simple phrase of words "face the Son".... my new mantra.

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life.'"   ~Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Pot roast on Sunday. Even if it's supposed to be 104 degrees today.... ..... yeah..... totally thrilled about that.

What can I say? Can I take them back? Nah. So, one of those days turned into one of those weeks. Then one of those weeks turned into a few of those weeks. But the sun is shining a little brighter today. Indeed. I've often wondered how people deal with prolonged periods, even lifelong feelings of melancholy, despair, emotional numbness, hopelessness..... well, you get the drift.  How do they get up each day knowing they might not see a silver lining or any tender mercies?  The fact that they keep going is courage and endurance beyond what I can comprehend. Endurance . I've never been a very good endurer. But it's been a word, a character trait, I've thought a lot about lately..... one I'd like to develop..... embody.. empower. en·dur·ance inˈd(y)o͝orəns,enˈd(y)o͝orəns/ noun noun:  endurance the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way. "she was close to the limit of her en...

In case it isn't obvious, I'm ready to make some BIGtime positive changes in my life.

Blah. Not feeling like there's a whole lot you do right. Having things you put a lot of thought into come back to bite you. Also knowing that tomorrow..... or maybe even the next day..... is another day. Knowing you've had these days before. And that you got through them. And you're still here. And Heavenly Father is still the same. That His love never changes and never will. The sun WILL come out tomorrow.... And be 110 degrees.  :-||||||| *Edit** Got on fb a few minutes ago and at the top of my newsfeed TJ's mom had posted this.... Thanks Dina.  

And of course..... ......  don't forget this!!!

.... before you go to the podiatrist. (long story..... just take my word for it) On a brighter note, I ordered new Chucks today.  Yippeee!

I'm a lemon lover...... like whopping bigtime. Yes.  I'm going to write an entire post about lemons. When I was little I loved lemonade so much, I used to slice a lemon in half, milk it a little bit so the juice was all loosened, pour a spoonful of sugar in all the little crevices, and plop it into my mouth.  I can remember riding around on my bike with a half a lemon in my mouth and thinking that it was like an everlasting, awesome glass of lemonade as I went about my day.  No effort.  Just there. I try not to think of the poor enamel on my teeth and instead think of the joys of being a carefree little girl and the simplicities of happiness that come so easily through a child's eyes. I have several happy memories of lemons..... My Grandma Ede's famous lemon squares.  Even Dana (my dearest cousin) and I went on a quest a few years ago to find the best lemon squares in Eagle/Boise because our memories of them on sunny, Sunday afternoons at grand...

Who's extremely independent and fiercely determined.... ...... makes my heart hurt when she calls me (and I know she's been sick) and says in the saddest, froggiest voice (because I've been busy as all get-out the past couple of days), "why haven't you called me the last few days?". Ugh.  [insert major facetious tone] Mother of the year.  Yep.  That's me.